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House of Werth (Ebook Bundle)

House of Werth (Ebook Bundle)

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Series: House of Werth, 1-5

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Five books. One demonically dysfunctional family. The strangest, most beloved household in all of Regency England.

Meet Gussie Werth — the one Werth who missed the family curse entirely, or so she thought, until a visit to an equally strange neighbouring family proves otherwise. What follows is winter chaos, a murder in the good parlour, a masquerade with a jewel thief in the wings, and a Hallowe'en prophecy that puts every single Werth on borrowed time.

Vampires, ghosts, gorgons, and one very talkative severed head call Werth Towers home, and every book brings fresh catastrophe to the family's door — solved, more often than not, by Gussie's particular gift for finding trouble and dragging the rest of the household in after her. Along the way: a slow-burn romance nobody saw coming, family loyalty tested past its limits, and a found-family charm that only gets more irresistible with every book.

Five complete adventures, one unforgettable family — collected together at last.

The Addams Family meets Pride & Prejudice — cosy gothic Regency comedy at its most deliciously strange.

Series: House of Werth, 1-5

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The Scions of the House of Werth are all born normal. It is what happens afterwards that sets them apart from the rest of England.

Three years afterwards, to be precise.

No sooner had Augusta Honoria Werth set foot over the threshold of Werth Towers than her name was heard to resound about those ancient brick walls, uttered in the powerfully resonant tones of her Aunt Wheldrake. The syllables rolled through the great, craggy pile like controlled claps of thunder, and set the floor a-shake.

‘Where,’ thundered she, ‘is Augusta?’

The importuned lady in question paused to shake the rain from her shawl, a brisk summer shower having caught her unawares as she crossed the park. Werths she saw aplenty, as she swept her calm gaze over the darkly majestic great hall: Aunt Margaret crossing from one side to the other, a pile of linens in her hands; Cousin Theodore wisely disappearing into the library; and Mrs. Thannibour, her elder sister Nell, coming towards her, wielding an ugly but dry shawl with intent.

She did not, however, see Aunt Wheldrake.

‘Gussie, how late you are,’ hissed Nell, plucking her sister’s delicate, rose-coloured shawl from about her shoulders, and replacing it with the sad, slate-grey substitute. The wool prickled Gussie’s bare arms, and scratched woefully, but Nell was deaf to all protests, instead ushering her resolutely towards the enormous, polished oak staircase dominating the central hall. ‘Go, please,’ said Nell. ‘Pacify her, or we shall not have a moment’s peace.’

‘I do not know what peace is likely to be found on Lizzie’s third birthday,’ Gussie observed, but Nell was not listening, already hastening away.

Squaring her shoulders, Gussie faced the staircase with resolution, and climbed. ‘I am here, Aunt,’ she called, just as the thunder began, again, to roll.

Aunt Wheldrake’s face, crowned with a gauzy lace cap, appeared over the banister. ‘How late you are!’ she said, echoing Nell.

‘I am very sorry, Aunt, I was obliged to—’

‘Never mind that now,’ said she, descending with a whoosh, and taking a firm grip upon her niece’s elbow. ‘We are but five minutes from the Great Event, so you see you are just in time, and not a moment is to be lost.’ Wisps of roiling cloud swirled about her feet, and then about Gussie’s, who lurched unsteadily as she rose into the air. Swiftly was she borne away, sailing through the hall, the library and out into the gardens, where the rain continued, disobligingly, to fall.

‘Theodore!’ thundered Aunt Wheldrake as they soared past.

‘Er,’ he was heard to say, followed by the distant snap of a book hastily closed. ‘Yes! Coming.’

Aunt Wheldrake cast one dark look up at the glowering clouds, and the pitter-patter of rain slowed. ‘Insupportable,’ she declared. To the best of Gussie’s knowledge, her aunt’s stormy powers did not extend so far as to hold dictates over the rain; the coincidence of timing, however, was impressive.

She reminded herself not to be late to any more of Aunt Wheldrake’s parties.

On a pretty stretch of emerald lawn, just beyond the borders of Lady Werth’s lavender shrubbery, a white pavilion beckoned. Lady Werth herself sat in a cane chair beneath its domed interior, her husband at her elbow, and all the disparate scions of the Werth family line gathered around her. All, that is, save Gussie, and the shabby figure of Cousin Theo marching along in her wake.

‘Aunt Werth,’ said Gussie, stepping smoothly from her cloud, and bent to kiss Lady Werth.

She was rewarded with a huge smile. ‘Ah, Gussie, I knew you would not fail us. What do you think, then, of the birthday girl? Lucretia swears she shall be a mermaid, and indeed she can swim astonishingly well. Cannot you, Lizzie? But for my part I think it a great deal more likely that she shall surprise us all, and turn out a siren, or perhaps a fire-weaver.’

Privately, Gussie knew that Aunt Georgie had the right of it, for the Wyrde, when it came, rarely deigned to manifest in any manner of pattern. Mere mortal expectations were as nothing to it; it always did just as it pleased, and as such made a fitting curse for the wayward Werths.

The hopes of Lizzie’s mama must, however, be respected, so Gussie smiled at Aunt Wheldrake and agreed that Lizzie would make a perfect little mermaid.

‘What with her golden hair,’ said the proud mama, ‘and would she not look well all wreathed about in sea-jewels?’

‘Very well indeed,’ agreed Augusta, happy in her aunt’s restored temper. The members of the House being now collected, in an orderly fashion, where the Great Event was to take place, her thunders had departed, together with her mists, and she was able to take her place beside her husband with smiling alacrity.

A chair had been placed upon Lizzie’s right hand, undoubtedly designed for Gussie. Someone — Nell, most likely — had piled it high with fat, silken cushions. Being herself of ample figure, she treated her thin younger sister as though Gussie might break in half were she not properly wrapped up, cushioned and cosseted. But such overbearing care had its advantages, and Gussie sank gratefully into the cushions’ pillowy embrace as she turned her attention to Lizzie.

The child sat on the Wyrding Chair, so called because the throne-like structure had been wheeled out for every Third Birthday in living memory. Nothing about the chair mattered, of course. It was not, itself, Wyrded, nor could it have any impact upon the proceedings. But being oversized, gilded and ornately carved, it offered a majesty and a grandeur to these Great Events (as Aunt Wheldrake would have it) that would otherwise be lacking.

Lord Werth had his pocket-watch in hand. ‘And it is time,’ he announced, meaning exactly three years, to the minute, since the occasion of Elizabeth Louisa Wheldrake’s birth.

A hush fell. Every gathered Werth drew in a breath, and held it, all eyes fastened upon the tiny child shifting restlessly upon her enormous throne.

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